Woman Refuses to Lend Cousin Graduation Dress Due to ‘History of Being Careless’

One woman took a stand against her cousin by refusing to lend her a graduation dress out of fear it would come back in a different condition.

In a Reddit post, the woman shared that her cousin is graduating from community college next month. She noted that she and her cousin have never been close, but they’re friendly during family events.

Recently, her cousin asked to borrow the dress that the poster wore to her own college graduation, which is a “beautiful, fairly expensive white lace dress that was a gift from my parents.”

The woman told her cousin that she was “uncomfortable” letting her borrow the dress because she has a “history of being careless with her things,” often leading to “stains, rips, lost jewelry” and more. Due to this, the woman noted that she doesn’t “trust her to return the dress in the same condition.” 

“I worked really hard for my degree, and that dress is a special keepsake for me,” the woman wrote.

However, her cousin “got really upset” and accused the poster “of being selfish and stuck-up.”

“She said, ‘I guess you think your university graduation was more important than my community college one,’ which isn’t true at all,'” she recalled.

The woman’s aunt then called the poster’s mom, telling her to “be nice” and lend the dress to “keep the peace.” 

“They’re saying it’s just a dress, and I’m causing unnecessary drama,” she continued. “I feel guilty because I could make her happy by just saying yes, but I also feel like I shouldn’t have to risk ruining something important to me.”

She posted on Reddit, wondering if she was in the wrong, but most people let her know that she was right in setting a boundary with her cousin. 

One person wrote, “You’re not in the wrong at all. You have valid reasons as to why you’re uncomfortable lending her the dress, and it has nothing to do with you feeling/being better than her. As you said, it was a gift and she’s careless with her own things, so who’s to say she’s not gonna be careless with your things as well. If the family cares so much about ‘being nice,’ then someone should buy her a dress.” 

Another person added, “Stand by your decision and make sure that everyone knows why. Your cousin breaks and ruins things that aren’t hers, and treats other people’s possessions with callous disregard.”