Woman’s Sibling Tells Her She Shouldn’t ‘Have Children’ During Heated Argument

One sibling is wondering if they’re wrong for telling their sister not to have children.

In a post on the AITA subreddit, the original poster (OP) explained that they had their wisdom tooth taken out and was in severe pain from a potential dry socket. OP, who’s 24 years old, wrote that when they asked their sister whether it was normal, their sister responded that the swelling and pain was normal.

OP shared that they proceeded to pick up their sister’s groceries while in pain before returning in the afternoon. Throughout the time they were gone, they talked to other people about the pain and decided to ask their sister again about what they were experiencing.

“She freaked out and screamed, ‘You are so f—— dramatic! It’s a wisdom tooth. My god!’ ” OP wrote. “I said flippantly ‘Chile if this is dramatic and pushing your patience to its limits do not have children. God bless you when you have a daughter.’ ”

OP explained that they made the comment in a “funny, light-hearted tone” to their sister, who’s 10 years older than them, and “sometimes likes to treat me as I’m her child.” The person added that their sister, 34, is “very controlling at times” because of the age gap in their relationship. OP said that they felt their sister’s reaction was “completely uncalled for” after only asking her twice in one day about their pain.

“Especially when i’ve always reassured her when she is anxious (which happens after every weekend),” OP said. “She’s talked about countless trivial interactions multiple times over weeks and weeks and I have patiently listened.”

“She always bickers back and forth with our younger brother who is autistic. Yelling at him and demeaning him to the point he has breakdowns and cries,” they added. “She doesn’t have the patience to explain things to him either and MAYBE that could also be a reason I’ve been holding some sort of sentiment that she cold and reactive.”

OP continued the post, sharing their sister’s reaction to their statement.

“She replied ‘That’s so f—– up,’ and I simply said ‘Honestly, I was mostly joking but if me asking you about my wisdom tooth once in the morning and once right now, while i’m in pain, sets you off then Jesus. I hear children, teens and young adults are much worse 😂Chile anyways!’ ” OP said.

Looking back on their comment, OP wrote that they regret saying it because their sister took it to heart.

“HINDSIGHT, I regret saying that bc she takes it to heart when all I’m saying is she has zero patience for anyone but herself,” they explained. “So maybe I am the ass—- and I have some resentment built up for the way she treats my younger brother and myself at times.”

“I think she wants to have kids,” OP added. “In all honesty I didn’t think it’d hurt her to be that upset. I do feel terribly apologetic for that.”

The comment section was divided on whether OP was in the wrong for their comment. One user felt they were in the wrong because their comment wasn’t something they should joke about.

“You should call your oral surgeon/provider (aka person who is qualified to answer you) who removed your tooth about your wisdom tooth issue, not your sister (who is clearly not the one who removed your tooth),” the commenter began, before admitting they felt like OP was in the wrong.

“Calling the appropriate person to begin with would have eliminated all of this. Don’t call a non-medical person for medical advice and then insult them when they give an unqualified answer,” they continued. “That’s a pretty serious insult. It isn’t funny. It isn’t something to joke about. Call you sister and thank her for taking care of you – she’s not your parent, despite the fact you treat her like she is.”

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Another commenter took OP’s side, saying that they should be able to point out their sister’s behavior in the situation.

“You should be able to point out her behavior and how it’s a flaw without letting your sorrow for hurting her feelings make you backtrack,” they wrote. “You’re right, if she does behave like this then she shouldn’t have kids anytime soon. She’s not ready and won’t be until she acknowledges this issue.”

“You not backtracking, saying its just a joke or minimizing it to resentment…MAY help her realize this and be better,” the user concluded.

Many of the commenters under the post believed that both parties were at fault. One user encouraged the siblings to “hug it out and move on.”

“She didn’t need to scream at you and you didn’t have to tell her she’d be a bad mother,” they wrote. “You both suck here, hug it out and move on.”