Mass. Woman with ALS Writes Her Own Obituary: ‘Looks Like I’m Dead’

Linda Brossi Murphy was a writer before her death, and she left her friends and family with one last touching piece of work: her obituary.

“Well, if you are reading this obituary, it looks like I’m dead,” she wrote in the obituary, published on the McCarthy, McKinney & Lawler Funeral Home website. “WOW, it actually happened… I died of FOMO due to complications of Bulbar ALS.”

Murphy, a Massachusetts native, died on Sept. 21 at age 60 — which she teased was “way too young!” — after being diagnosed with amyotrophic lateral sclerosis (ALS). 

ALS, also known as Lou Gehrig’s disease, is a rare degenerative disease that causes progressive paralysis of the muscles. Patients first experience twitching or weakness in a limb, often followed by slurred speech. According to the Mayo Clinic, because the disease affects the nerve cells in the brain and spine that control muscle movement, patients slowly lose their ability to speak, eat, walk, and breathe independently.

There’s no cure for ALS, and people usually live three to five years after diagnosis, according to the Muscular Dystrophy Association. 

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“My stupid Bulbar ALS got me to the sad point of not being able to talk,” Murphy wrote. “Never speaking means never being able to say, ‘I love you!’ It means not being able to call my Mr. BoJangles over for a snack, and it means not being able to order at the Dunkin’ drive through. 

“As far as eating, it totally stinks to sit at the table while people around you are eating juicy burgers hot off the grill, heaping piles of Chinese food, a healthy portion of pasta Alfredo, or Chipotle — and I just have to smile and act like I’m enjoying my bowl of puréed baby mush! Living had gotten to be such an overwhelming burden every day, day after day.” 

Murphy explained that she did her best not to let anyone know details about her daily struggles and “suffering” from ALS, admitting that she and her husband David did what they could to put their best selves out in the world. “Hair and make up done, smiles on,” she said.

Murphy shared that she and her husband were together for 42 years, and joked that they became a “thruple” a year and a half ago when her respirator — “Hosee” — moved into their bed. “From then on, David woke up next to what looked like a fighter pilot with smooshed hair!” she quipped. She also mentioned several family members, in-laws and best friends, calling them “amazing and the absolute best thing about my life.”

“My advice is to say ‘yes’ to the party, the trip, the adventure – and while you are there, please raise a glass and ‘Cheers’ for me!” she said.

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Murphy ended her obituary by sharing that she donated her brain and spinal cord to Massachusetts General Hospital for ALS research. She asked that donations be made in her honor to Compassionate Care ALS, which she said “helped me and so many others live a better life while struggling with ALS.”

“So to my earthly existence, I say farewell. It was a blast while it lasted. We sure did have fun!” she wrote.

“If you were a stinker and meanie to me or my family or friends during my lifetime… please do everyone a favor and STAY AWAY, we don’t want your negative drama & energy. Only nice, loving people are welcome!” Murphy added. “PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE don’t waste money on flowers. Buy a bunch of scratch tickets and give them out to strangers along your way. Make people happy, that is the best way that you can honor my memory.”