Mom Upset Son Called His Girlfriend ‘Most Important Person’ in His Life

A 30-year-old man is refusing to apologize to his mom after she became upset when he revealed plans to propose to his girlfriend.

In a post on Reddit’s AITAH forum, the man explained that he and his girlfriend, 27, have been dating for about five years and were friends prior. The relationship with his mom has always been “very close,” but he said sometimes she shares things that feel “inappropriate” and fails to listen when he wants to talk about his own struggles. 

“Despite that, my mom is a great person and I have always tried to show my appreciation and gratitude towards her,” the man said. “My mom has always loved my gf [girlfriend]. She says how smart, kind, funny, and perfect for me she is.” 

He added, “My gf is incredibly kind to my mother as well and listens to her in the way I do and helps her a lot.”

The man said his girlfriend and mom have even attended events together. Everything seemed “awesome” until he recently shared plans with his parents to propose before the end of the year. 

“I was talking to them and I said something, ‘She is the most important person in my life’ to my parents,” the man said. “My dad was happy and supportive, but my mom turned sour.”

He explained that “she started making ‘jokes’ immediately like, ‘She’s the most important person in your life? What about the person who birthed you?’ I kind of tried to laugh it off and say that of course my parents were important too not thinking too deeply.”

The man described his mom as becoming “clingy” since the discussion and said she has been making “snide comments” when he doesn’t answer her calls immediately. He said her behavior has been so “strange” that he decided to give her space.

“My dad called me after work informing me that my mom was in tears today because I have been ignoring her and he told me the ‘most important person in the world’ comment really got to her,” the man said. “I told him it really should not be that deep and I was just expressing love for my gf.”

“He asked if I could apologize and I honestly don’t want to,” he added. “I don’t feel like I did anything wrong but my dad and mom are now treating me like the biggest a—– ever.”

Responses to the post attempted to reassure the man that he was making the right decision and argued his dad should confront his mom about her behavior.

“Your mother is very manipulative. I hope you always side with your girlfriend over your mom once you get married,” one person commented. “Because what you are experiencing now is just a warmup for your mom’s main event, especially once you have kids.”

“NTA [not the a——] set boundaries and stick to them,” another said. “She’s being nice to your gf to have more control over your relationship. She’s going to be a nightmare when you two plan a wedding.”

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“Your dad needs to tell your mom to GROW THE F UP and stop acting like a child, not coddling her and trying to make you apologize to her,” a third chimed in. “You need to make it crystal clear that when you do get married, your wife will be the most important person in your world, because that is the way it is supposed to be.

“I am going to tell you something that I was told in my pre-marital counseling 30+ years ago: You don’t owe your mother anything for BIRTHING you,” the same person added. “That’s a choice SHE made. You also don’t owe her for raising you. That was literally her job.”