Woman Says Brother-in-Law Is Turning Family Against Her for Skipping Bridal Event

A woman is on the verge of cutting ties with her brother-in-law after his heated reaction to her being unable to attend one of his fiancée’s many bridal events.

In a post on the UK-based forum Mumsnet, the woman described her brother-in-law as “insufferable” and “entitled,” while revealing he and the bride-to-be have “screamed” down the phone at her and her husband on many occasions.

She explained that they were given just 11 months’ notice for her brother-in-law’s overseas wedding, which will cost around $2,000 each to attend. The nuptials include four bachelor events and two bachelorette parties — one of each is abroad. 

“We got married last year, but it was local and we never expected people to drop everything to attend,” the woman said of her and her husband. “We know it’s a big ask and an expense, I was grateful if someone sent us a card, honestly.”

“They have not once acknowledged how much it costs for guests and have even told us that if we don’t stay the whole week for the wedding, then we shouldn’t go at all, and that goes for all the guests – their entitlement is rather clear now, I think!” she continued.

The woman said she doesn’t “feel comfortable” going abroad for her brother-in-law’s wedding as she’s been going through fertility struggles, but hopes to be pregnant soon. However, the bride-to-be wants her to be one of nine bridesmaids as she was a bridesmaid at her wedding. 

Multiple bachelorette gatherings have been planned for the bridesmaids, which are each around a four-hour drive away, but the woman told the bride-to-be she would be “supporting from afar” rather than attending.

The woman confessed that she booked a last-minute vacation that she knew clashed with one of the bridal events because she feels it’s her “last-ditch attempt” at getting pregnant. However, she hasn’t told her brother-in-law or his bride about her fertility issues.

“So this is where I’m stuck (also this evening I am missing is just a bottle of wine and trying on some dresses, it’s not booked at a shop, she told everyone to buy their own dress and bring it with them to try on in front of everyone – it’s not a big thing in my opinion),” the woman said, before revealing she told the bride she isn’t attending.

“She’s not replied, and the brother-in-law called my husband, saying awful things about me, I’ll never forgive him,” she continued. “I appreciate they don’t know what’s going on, but if they had just spoken to me directly and asked why we booked the vacation, rather than calling screaming down the phone and saying horrible things to me, I would have told them what’s going on.”

The woman questioned if she should leave her brother-in-law to “turn the whole family against” her and not attend the wedding, or “bite the bullet and tell them my deeply personal issues” despite having not told even her own family.

Many responses to the post advised the woman to be honest about her fertility issues to avoid the conflict. However, others claimed they wouldn’t go to the wedding as they blasted her brother-in-law and his fiancée’s behavior.

“I wouldn’t have anyone badmouthing me, so I’d be phoning back to tell them to shove their wedding up their a–, you don’t want to be a bridesmaid and you won’t be attending. End of,” one person wrote.

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“Don’t agree to something and then book a vacation instead. I get why she is annoyed. Just drop out of being a bridesmaid,” another commented.

“I will say this as someone who’s experienced similar with their own in-laws, don’t pander to them,” a third said. “F— them, you’ll do it all and they won’t be grateful, they’ll just want more from you the next time & so on. So take the hit, tell your MIL (hoping she’s not as bad as your BIL!) and just ignore the rest of the cfs [cheeky f—ers].”