Woman Chooses Baby Name to Honor Late Dad, but Mom Says It Snubs Half-Siblings

A woman turned to the Reddit community for support following a heartfelt disagreement with her mother about naming traditions in her family. The poster shared that her dad passed away before she was born, and her mom made a decision to honor him in the name she gave her.

“My dad died when my mom was pregnant with me,” she explains. “They hadn’t finalized a name for me when he passed so my mom chose to give me a name with the same initial as his first name and from his culture.”

She noted that her dad was Irish and her mom wanted her “to carry that part of him with me always,” so she gave her an Irish name, for example, “say he was Rory (fake names) and she named me Roisin.”

Things changed when her mom remarried years later and began expanding the family. “When I was 10 my mom remarried and when I was 11 she had the first of my half siblings,” the woman writes. Her mom’s new husband admired what she had done with the naming tradition and suggested building on it with their children.

“Mom didn’t want to leave me out so she asked me if I’d like to add Irish R names into the mix for any half siblings I would have,” she recalls. However, she wasn’t comfortable with that idea.

“I told her she didn’t need to do it and I didn’t want that because I liked it being for me and dad,” she explains. Her mom was a little disappointed at the time, but ultimately respected her daughter’s wishes and “never asked me again.”

Now, years later, the woman is grown, married and has just welcomed her first child. She says her husband brought up the idea of continuing the naming tradition, asking her if she’d like to use those names for their children.

“When my husband and I were expecting and talking names he asked me if I’d like to use R Irish names for some of our children and at least for our first,” she shares. They decided to honor that connection, naming their baby in a way that reflected the same link she had with her dad.

But instead of joy, the decision sparked tension with her mom just a week after the baby was born. “My mom told me she was upset that I had used it when I hadn’t wanted her to do it for my half siblings,” she reveals. Her mom questioned why she had once said it was only for her and her dad, yet chose to pass it on to her child.

The woman tried to explain that this was different. “I told her it was different because it was continuing with my own children and dad’s grandchildren so it made more sense than continuing it with half siblings who have a different dad,” she explains. But her mom felt hurt by that distinction.

“Mom said she wanted to do it to include me and she hated me being the only differently named person and she felt like it was a snub to my siblings,” the woman writes. The debate has left her wondering if she did something wrong in setting boundaries about the tradition when she was younger.

She clarifies that “this is just an initial thing,” and she and her child don’t share the same full name as her late father. “It’s not like we’re Riley, Rylee and Rilee or a Michael, Michelle similar. It’s literally just one initial,” she emphasizes.

One Reddit commenter voiced what many were thinking, writing, “Your mom is weird. Her naming one of her children with another man with the same FI as her dead husband doesn’t make any sense. And like you said, your dad’s first grandchild. Well done and CONGRATULATIONS.”

The poster agreed with the sentiment, saying that to her, her mom’s reaction feels confusing and misplaced. “At that point she saw it more as naming the kids the same initial as me,” she reflects. “But I don’t understand why it had to be something I could never do with my own children though.”

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She adds that her mom’s reaction tells her something important about the past. “It also tells me she never truly accepted I didn’t want my half siblings to have matching initials to me,” the woman admits.