Woman Learns Mother-in-Law Keeps Son Up Hours Past His Naptime So She Can Sleep

A mom who works full-time says she’s considering quitting — just so she won’t have to rely on her mother-in-law for childcare.

In a post shared anonymously to Reddit, the woman writes that she and her 65-year-old mother-in-law “have never been close, and in recent years our relationship has grown more strained.”

She adds that both she and her husband work full-time and in the office. Since her own parents live out of state, they often rely on his mom to help take care of the kids.

“We have been asking and paying MIL to come watch our kids one day a week,” she writes. “I have arranged childcare the other four days and the schedule is perfect…unless someone messes with it.”

Her mother-in-law has never worked and was a stay-at-home mom until her own kids grew up. Still, she “actively complains about watching my children,” the poster writes, and often tries to “switch days.”

“She is aware by switching days she is inconveniencing the other family members (who have their other responsibilities) I have asked in my life to help and my one sitter I have secured is unable to watch my kids any other days due to her school schedule. It is emotionally exhausting and every week I brace for impact when she comes to my home,” she writes.

The post continues: “Last week, things came to a head when I learned she was purposely keeping up my 1 year old THREE HOURS past his morning nap time, so he could then fall asleep at the same time as my 3 year old. Why? So she could then nap. I hit the fan.”

“My poor baby was over tired and losing it come dinner time because he was getting only one nap a day. Which he isn’t ready for yet,” she adds, noting that it also “explained why he was waking up more at night and therefore keeping both my husband and I up.”

When she confronted her mother-in-law, she “got mad” at the poster and “left the house while I was putting down my son, returned, and went downstairs to nap.”

“So instead of helping me, I put down my son, fed my daughter lunch, put her down for her nap and then barely made it out the door to make it to work on time. While she slept on my couch,” she writes. “When I went to inform her I was leaving (because someone has to be awake to hear for the baby) she did not speak to me and rolled her eyes at me.”

When the poster returned home later that night, the mother-in-law had opened an alcoholic drink, saying she “needed something other than water.”

Later, the woman asked her husband to speak to his mother, and she thought the issue had been resolved — until the next day, when the mother-in-law showed up to watch the children with a man she had been seeing, but without asking permission.

Never miss a story — sign up for PEOPLE’s free daily newsletter to stay up-to-date on the best of what PEOPLE has to offer​​, from celebrity news to compelling human interest stories. 

“To say I was stunned into silence is an understatement,” she writes. “I immediately went into the back room to call my husband and confirm he did not know (he did not), and then went back over and stayed a half hour late because I truly felt conflicted. Do I stay home, just call out of work? I honestly felt like she doubled down from the last week in testing boundaries and pushing me.”

Now, the woman is considering leaving her job, writing, “it has been a battle to get here with her constantly fighting about watching the kids.”

“I don’t even know how to approach this without screaming. My husband said he would handle but I think at this point I am done with her watching them since I clearly cannot trust her to respect my home and me as a parent,” she adds.

Other Reddit users are firmly on the poster’s side, with one writing, “I feel like it’s possible she keeps getting worse on purpose so that you’ll fire her. She doesn’t want to watch the kids, but if she gets fired instead of quitting, then she gets to play the victim (in her mind).”

The woman replied to the comment, suggesting the Redditor might be on the right track.

“Because she would probably love to say that she tried her hardest or ‘did everything for us’ and that ‘ we weren’t grateful,'” she responded. “I don’t intend on telling her she is fired from today. I just will be telling her I don’t need her anymore. Even if I have to stay home for a couple Tuesdays to make it a smoother transition.”