Woman Refused to Wait 40 Minutes for Habitually Late Friends

A woman refused to wait for her habitually late friends — and she’s wondering if she overreacted.

The woman detailed her story on the popular Reddit forum “Am I the A——?”, a place where Reddit users can go to seek advice about interpersonal dilemmas. In her post, the woman shared that she had been planning to meet up with friends at an event “for weeks.”

“In the days leading up to it, I asked when they planned on being there and they gave me a time. They verified this time the day of the event as I was preparing to leave. Once I hit the road, I texted them an ETA and they responded with a thumbs up,” she added.

However, the Redditor said that when she arrived at the event, both friends informed her that they hadn’t even left their homes yet, and they wouldn’t be there for about 40 minutes.

“It hurt that I drove all the way out only to feel like my time was being disrespected,” she said, noting that this “isn’t the first time something like this has happened.”

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“I’ve waited in a bar by myself for over an hour waiting for them to arrive. I’ve waited even longer for them to show up to a party where everyone was expecting them. I’ve always made excuses for them, since I know executive dysfunction and time blindness is a thing. But at a certain point I needed to put my foot down. My family was always late to things growing up and to this day it triggers me,” she explained.

The original poster (OP) also said that she has severe social anxiety and cannot attend events alone — which made her friends’ recent lateness feel even worse.

“So I left, fully aware that I was wasting time and gas. I sobbed the entire way, asking what was wrong with me that I would do this to my favorite people,” she said.

She added, “Now one of the friends isn’t talking to me and the other is making me feel guilty because they wanted to see me. AITA [am I the a——]?”

Reddit users had mixed opinions on whether the OP was at fault.

“NTA [not the a——],” one person said. “There are just some people who don’t respect other people’s time and are completely incapable of being on time. A few minutes late when you have a whole hour to drive is understandable. Not having left yet (and not even saying they are about to leave) when there is an hour drive and they are already supposed to be there is 100% unacceptable.”

“NTA. 10 or 15 minutes, you’d wait. At least 40 minutes since they hadn’t left the house yet? That’s so disrespectful to you,” agreed someone else.

Some Redditors, however, said they thought everyone was a little at fault in the scenario — the friends for being so late, and the OP for relying on those friends so heavily for emotional support.

“ESH [everyone sucks here],” one person said. ”Them for being egregiously late, especially since it’s a pattern. [And] you to yourself for not dealing with your anxiety. This didn’t need to be a wasted day. You could have gone about the event and they get there when they get there.”

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Another person added, “[…] It sounds like your anxiety is not under control and you expect a lot from friends by way of therapeutic support. Sitting sobbing in a car […] is not the way to go […]. Therapy, or better therapy if you are already in it, is called for.”

If you or someone you know needs mental health help, text “STRENGTH” to 741-741 to be connected with a certified crisis counselor.