Man Says His Mom and Sister Still Talk to Ex Who Cheated on Him

A man says he’s “uncomfortable” with his mother and sister communicating with his ex — who cheated on him with another guy — and he’s wondering whether he’s overreacting.

The 28-year-old detailed his story on the popular Reddit forum “Am I the A——?,” a place where Reddit users can go to get input about interpersonal issues. In his post, the man said that he recently broke up with his live-in girlfriend after two years of dating upon discovering she was cheating on him.

“I only found out because the guy she was cheating on me with found out about me and reached out, saying he had no idea that she was seeing anyone, and she had been lying to him, [too],” he added.

The original poster said that he “immediately” ended things with the woman, and she moved out. He also said that he told his family that they were no longer together, though “didn’t go into specifics [about] what happened.”

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The original poster (OP) went on to say that he found out that his mother and little sister were still in contact with the ex several months later.

“I thought that was incredibly weird behavior, so I confronted them about it and went into further detail about the breakup and told them she cheated on me,” he continued.

The man said that his mom and sister appeared outwardly “sympathetic” when he told them the whole story, and assured him they would “cut contact” with the woman. However, he went on to say that he recently attended a family dinner and found out that they are still, in fact, in contact with the ex.

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He said he “immediately got defensive” and told his mom and sister that “it feels like they don’t even care” about how badly the woman “broke” him. He said that his mother, in turn, said “she’s a grown woman and she can talk to whoever she wants,” and his sister accused him of being a “typical” controlling man.

The OP said he left the dinner and has not spoken to his mother or sister since.

“So AITAH [am I the a——] for being extremely uncomfortable with this and seriously thinking about cutting ties with them too until they can understand how weird it is?” the man asked at the end of his post.

Reddit users were quick to tell the OP that his feelings about the situation are completely valid.

“NTA [not the [a——],” one person said. “It’s weird for your mom and sister to be in contact with your ex. I mean, you asked them to stop and explained how the relationship ended. They should respect you, and honestly who would want to remain in contact with someone who cheated on their son/brother? The only reason to remain in contact with an ex is if you share a child.”

“NTA [no the a——],” said someone else, adding, “This is weird, especially since the ex cheated on you. And they are compounding the issue by lying to you instead of even trying to discuss this. I would go Low Contact with them for now, since they seem to be choosing the ex over you.”

Someone else suggested an even firmer boundary, recommending that the OP go no contact with his mom and sister.

They said, “Leave them alone until they come to you. No check-ins, no birthday calls, no holidays, nothing. It’s hard, but boundaries are effective and consequences teach lessons.”