Emilie Kiser Is ‘Really Nervous’ to Post on Social Media After Son Trigg’s Death

Emilie Kiser has returned to posting videos on social media — the first time she’s done so since the death of her 3-year-old son Trigg.

On Saturday, Sept. 20, Emilie, 26, shared a house “reset” TikTok, a type of video she is best known for, marking the first time she’s shared her usual content since her toddler died in a drowning incident in May. (Previously, she had only returned to her social media platforms once, last month, to break her silence on the incident with a written statement.)

Emilie started the video in typical fashion, showing herself making an iced coffee before pausing to talk to the camera directly. Speaking for several minutes, as she wore a “Trigg” necklace, she shared her intentions for her return to social media and explained what her future posts may entail.

“Hi, you guys. I don’t even really know what to say,” Emilie began. “I’m gonna be honest, it’s been a minute since I’ve obviously come on here. Not gonna lie, I’m really nervous right now. I don’t really know if there’s any, like, right way to start this video, but I’m gonna do my best. Just first off, wanna say thank you if you’re here.”

She went on to say that during her time “offline,” she has “missed truly getting to just, like, chat with you guys every day.”

“I know that might sound silly to a lot of people, but I really do love this community that we have here and I hope that in coming back and sharing a little bit of what I choose to, I can reconnect with you guys and hopefully help anyone who is maybe going through a similar situation,” Emilie continued.

She also said that while she is returning to posting on social media, she has no plans to lie — or share every little detail — about how she’s doing online moving forward.

“I’m just doing my best every day to figure this out, figure my life out, so I’m just taking it day by day. I’m going to do the same thing with my content, just take it day by day,” the influencer said. “Obviously, you guys know that the last few months have been really, really hard, and I’m not gonna sugarcoat it. I’m not gonna lie, I’m not gonna sit here and act like things are fine and dandy, and I don’t want it to come off that way with me coming back and making content again.”

“This is really therapeutic for me,” she continued. “I miss talking to you guys, but obviously I don’t know what that’s going to fully look like. I don’t know how much I’m going to be willing to share, especially about my grief journey. The last thing I want to do is, honestly put myself in a position where I’m sharing too much, or I’m not ready to share stuff and I share it.”

Emilie added that “the last thing I want to do is get on the internet and cry and like say every single way that I’m feeling because I’m really just trying to process everything as best as I can, day by day, but there are so many things that I do want to talk about, especially with my platform, and I want to talk to you guys about.”

“I’m just not ready right now,” she said. “I don’t know when I’ll be ready, but if you are going through anything similar, I just want to say that I love you and I’m here for you, and I understand how hard it is.”

Emilie then transitioned back into her usual content, doing a house “reset” by cleaning her kitchen, living room and more.

The TikTok comes less than a month after Emilie first addressed her son’s death in a statement shared on her Instagram and TikTok. In the statement, she addressed the future of her social media presence, saying that while she would be “establishing more boundaries with what I share online,” she hoped “to be in a place to share more about how I am navigating this grief, but right now, all I can say is thank you for the love, compassion, patience and space you’ve given us to grieve.”

Emilie also reflected on the start of her social media career, explaining that her goal in starting her platform had been to “connect with other moms and find a community.”

“I have found that and so much more through all of you,” she wrote. “I found a community, a hobby I love, and a job I am so grateful for. I have always been my authentic self on social media and tried my best to share my everyday life honestly, while also being mindful of what I didn’t choose to share.”

The message marked the first time the Arizona-based influencer had spoken out on social media since Trigg died following a drowning incident that occurred in her and her husband Brady Kiser’s backyard pool on May 12.

Never miss a story — sign up for PEOPLE’s free daily newsletter to stay up-to-date on the best of what PEOPLE has to offer​​, from celebrity news to compelling human interest stories.

Brady, who was the only parent home at the time of the incident, initially said that he had lost sight of Trigg for three to five minutes before finding him in the pool, though the Chandler Police Department (CPD)’s report later cited video evidence that Trigg “was in the backyard unsupervised for more than nine minutes, and in the water for about seven of those minutes.”

Trigg was hospitalized after the incident. He died six days later on May 18.

“Trigg is our baby and our best friend,” Emilie wrote in the Aug. 28 statement. “The light and spirit he brought into this world was bright, pure, joyful, and undeniable. We miss him every second of every day and continuing forward often feels unbearable,” wrote the grieving mother. “I never thought we would experience grief in this way or the pain of losing him so suddenly. It’s a pain, heartache, and void that no family should ever have to endure.”

She added, “I now have seen through this tragedy how relationships online lack boundaries, especially in protecting children’s privacy. Moving forward, I will be establishing more boundaries with what I share online.”