Woman’s Mom Criticizes Fiancé for Wearing Jeans to Wedding Event at Country Club

A woman seeks support from the Reddit community after a tense clash with her mother over her fiancé’s outfit choice. The bride-to-be shares that she and her partner are planning a wedding at a country club, where her parents have been members for more than two decades.

She explains that her mother once reminded her of the club’s dress code. “My mom mentioned once that when she was a member there, they had a dress code and you weren’t allowed to wear jeans,” she writes in her post.

According to the bride, her mother told her to include a note about this on the couple’s wedding website FAQ section, but she chose not to.

Instead, the bride felt her original dress code message was enough. “I told her I wouldn’t specify about jeans since it already says our wedding dress code was formal,” she shares. To her, it seemed unnecessary to call out something so specific when formal attire had already been requested.

The conflict came to a head during a pre-wedding event at the venue, where couples were invited to view table settings and connect with local vendors. The bride attended the open house with her parents, her fiancé and her fiancé’s parents after going out to lunch together.

She notes that her fiancé kept his lunch outfit on, which included denim. “My fiancé was wearing a nice pair of jeans (I didn’t think anything of it), but before we headed over to the event, my mom was freaking out to me about how he’s wearing jeans and she didn’t know if they would even let him inside,” she recalls. The bride admits she reassured her mother and felt her concern was misplaced.

In the moment, she tried to make a comparison, but it backfired. “I told her it’d be totally fine and pointed out that she’s wearing yoga pants and it’s not an issue,” she says. Her comment didn’t sit well with her mom, who later admitted she was upset about it.

Following the event, the bride asked her mother what she thought of the space, but the response was more focused on the clothing conversation than the venue itself.

“She just said that she DIDN’T like how I pointed out that she wore yoga pants and that I should’ve remembered to tell him to not wear jeans,” the bride explains. Wanting to smooth things over, she apologized for the comparison.

“I said sorry about the yoga pants comment, that I didn’t mean it was a bad outfit, I just meant that none of us were dressed up super fancy since it wasn’t a super fancy event,” she writes. Still, her mom wasn’t ready to let it go and criticized her daughter for forgetting her dress code reminder from months before.

The bride was stunned at how quickly things escalated. “I said I honestly forgot what she had said like 2 months ago about jeans and she said ‘how could you forget that?!’” she recalls. Hoping to steer the conversation back to something positive, she tried to express her feelings about her mother’s reaction.

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She told her mom, “I wished we could’ve just done something nice for my wedding without her getting upset about something.” But instead of hearing her out, her mom misconstrued what she was trying to say. “She then told my dad that I said that she ‘ruins everything about my wedding’ (not what I said),” the bride explains.

Now the bride says her mom is refusing to speak to her. “She’s pretty much icing me out and won’t leave her bedroom,” she explains, leaving the bride questioning what to do next. She turns to Reddit to ask, “What should I do?”

Commenters rushed to point out the inconsistencies in the mother’s argument. “Clearly yoga pants are more casual than jeans. She was being hypocritical,” one reply read. The commenter also noted that no one at the event said anything about the fiancé’s outfit, which underscores how unnecessary the conflict was.

The bride agreed with that sentiment and added that the supposed dress code isn’t even clear. “No one has asked them if that is still the rule and it doesn’t mention anything about it on their website,” she writes.