Woman Is ‘So Jealous’ of Husband For Being the Stay-at-Home Parent

A mom says she resents her husband for being the stay-at-home parent — and she’s not sure “how to get over it.”

In a post shared to Reddit, she writes, “I am struggling with resentment towards my husband for being the stay-at-home parent, and I don’t know how to get over it.”

She writes in the post that she went back to work when their son was 7 months old and “mostly for financial reasons.”

“My husband only worked part time and we couldn’t to afford to live unless I went back to work. He ended up giving up his job entirely after we moved house and has been a stay at home parent ever since,” she adds.

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She continues in the post: “I am so jealous of all the things he’s got to do. To be there for first steps, for getting to go to play groups, for socializing with other parents and now our son is in school he gets to be in all the private parent WhatsApp groups, the teachers speak to him not me.”

“I know that being a stay at home parent is tough and would not for a second dismiss the hard work he’s put in. I’m not saying I could do better. But I would have done anything to trade places,” she writes.

She adds that many assume that she “chose” to go back to work to focus on her career, writing, “it’s a boring job I hate that doesn’t even pay well.”

“And there’s this assumption that he takes care of the house too,” she writes. “We share cooking and I do all the chores except mowing the lawn. I’m exhausted. I feel completely unappreciated. I feel like I’ve lost out on so much with my son. And I have to stand by and have people tell me I’m so lucky to have a man be a stay at home dad, and that he’s such a good dad.”

She continues: “I know I can’t hold on to these feelings and I have to accept this is the way life took us. I guess I’m hoping moaning here will help me move on. If not I have to figure out how I let go of this resentment because I can’t keep going with these feelings.”

Many other Reddit users are commenting to tell the poster her situation is not sustainable.

“You aren’t happy with your job or the current division or domestic labor and childcare. You don’t have to just silently accept that inequality,” writes one commenter. “It may be that now that your son is in school your husband should return to work. It sounds like you need help with carrying the financial burden.”