Sheinelle Jones Shares Her 3 Kids’ Touching Response to Husband’s Death

Sheinelle Jones is opening up about how the death of her husband, Uche Ojeh, has impacted their three children.

On Friday, Sept. 5, the journalist, 47, returned to Today for the first time since Ojeh died after a brain cancer diagnosis in May. As she spoke about her time away from the show, Jones touched on how the loss has affected her three kids, son Kayin, 15, and fraternal twins Clara and Uche, 13, amidst her husband’s private diagnosis.

“My heart is shattered in a million pieces,” Jones shared in an emotional sit-down interview with Savannah Guthrie. “The life that I’ve known since I was 19 is no more. I’ve always wanted kids, and I have three kids of my own now, and they’ve lost their dad. And I’m their mom. It sucks.”

She called Ojeh a “dad’s dad,” adding, “I know people say that, but I’m telling you, and I think about it, my 15-year-old, he’s been to more countries than I have — World Cups and soccer camps and music theater, let’s go to this play, all over the world.”

Jones shared that her husband’s hands-on approach to parenting makes his absence felt all the more to their children.

“The beautiful days are harder than the rainy days because the beautiful days he would have taken them out,” she shared. “They would have gone to kick a ball. Our first vacation after he passed, it was hard. I thought it would be this respite, we’d go to the beach, and we’d go back to our happy place, but for our boys, it was a nightmare. I’m not surfing. I’m not doing any of that stuff. I’m not kicking a soccer ball on the beach. It’s been tough.”

Being a mom amidst her own grief has been a challenge for Jones, who said, “That’s what makes this harder. There are times where, if I can just stay in bed, keep the door closed, not answer my phone and just sit, it would be amazing. But I can’t do that. Because I have three little beings who are watching me.”

She added that while she and her kids are “a unit” of four now, “there’s this huge hole in our lives, in our hearts.”

Talking about how she’s managing her grief, Jones said it’s not linear.

“Grief is like a wave. And what I’ve told my kids it’s almost like rain can’t last forever,” she explained. “And so when the rain comes, in some ways I’ve learned to just look up at the rain and let it be a cleansing rain and let it clear the air. So I don’t run away from crying anymore when it comes to grief. I see it as like, ‘Okay, here comes my cleansing rain. And it’s okay.’ And I almost feel better and then I go back to what I’m doing.”

Despite being extroverted on TV, Jones described herself as an “extroverted introvert,” noting that previously Ojeh “brought the party,” when it came to socializing with friends and loved ones off-air.

“So now, it’s pretty clear, uh-oh, Dad brought the party, so I feel a little pressure. It’s like, ‘Oh man, I can’t be your dad. I can be the best mom I can be, and your uncles can be the best uncles they can be and our friends and our family… they’re all here for us but we can’t replace Dad and that’s just the truth.”

Amid their grief, Jones said that her kids are finding the bright spots after a summer of family trips and time together.

“The other night, Clara said, ‘We’ve had a great summer,’ ” Jones said of her daughter during the 3rd Hour of Today. “I asked my little guy, I said, ‘How are you doing? Are you okay?’ And he said, ‘You know, I used to think of Dad and I would just cry. I’d cry at school.’ He goes, ‘Now I think of Dad and I smile.’ And I thought, ‘They’re gonna be okay.’ “

Never miss a story — sign up for PEOPLE’s free daily newsletter to stay up-to-date on the best of what PEOPLE has to offer​​, from celebrity news to compelling human interest stories.

In a January Instagram post, Jones initially told fans that she’d been taking time away from the show “to deal with a family health matter,” but she didn’t elaborate further, and thanked her “Today show family” for their support, as well as fans for their “kindness.”

During a May 23 broadcast, Jones’ co-hosts announced that her husband of 18 years had died. He had been diagnosed with glioblastoma, which is an aggressive form of brain cancer, and died after a long illness.

“There are no words for the pain that we feel for Sheinelle and their three young children,” said Guthrie in May. “Uche was an incredible person. We all loved him. … We just want to say Sheinelle, Kayin, Uche and Clara and the Ojeh family: we are with you, we love you. You are our family and we’re just sending all of our love to you right now.”

“He loved those kids more than anything else in this world, and was just so proud,” added Melvin, who was close friends with Ojeh. “He was that dad that was on the sideline of every soccer game. He was at all of the concerts and the recitals. He was that guy.”

This past Tuesday, Guthrie announced that Jones would ill be returning to the NBC morning show after taking an extended leave of absence.

“We’ve got some other great news that we are so excited to share with you, and it involves a member of our own Today family,” Melvin began the announcement.

“Yes, our beloved Sheinelle will be returning to the show,” Guthrie shared. “She and her family have been through so much after the devastating loss of her husband, Uche.”

After her co-hosts announced the death of Ojeh during the May 23 broadcast, Jones shared a message on social media for the first time.

“Thank you, for all of your love and support. ❤️” Jones captioned a video of a Today segment.