Woman Says Neighbors Are Being Judgmental About ‘Ivy Coming Through the Fence’

A woman feels like her family is being “judged” by their “grumpy” neighbors because of their yard — but she’s not sure who is in the wrong.

In a post on the “Am I Being Unreasonable?” forum on the U.K.-based community website Mumsnet, the woman said she and her family have been living next door to a retired couple for about four years, and things have been “fine for the most part.”

However, the woman said the situation has since changed, and the neighbors have begun to complain to her and her husband “about ivy coming over from our side [of a fence] onto their side.”

She added that the neighbors have brought up the topic “at least five times” in the last several months. 

According to the woman, she and her family “did what they asked and cut some back along the fence.” Still, the neighbors, the woman wrote, then asked yet another time, and “sounded a bit rude.” 

“I’ve checked the fence out carefully this evening, both sides, and I can’t understand what the problem is,” she continued. “Any ivy coming through the fence is minimal. Plus, they can’t even see it because it’s behind their shrubs, and they can’t see that part of the garden from their house. And it’s our fence.”

The woman further explained that her main issue isn’t so much the ivy, but her neighbors’ “attitude” towards her and her husband.

“Our neighbor even called my husband lazy once, which was so untrue and unfair. We both work, have two young children (one with special education needs), and lots of life stuff going on, as most people do,” she said.

Added the woman: “Our house isn’t perfect and may not be as immaculate as our neighbors, but we do our best. I kind of feel like we’re being judged.”

The PEOPLE Puzzler crossword is here! How quickly can you solve it? Play now!

As she questioned, “Are our neighbors’ ivy grumbles and criticisms justified?” the vast majority of Mumsnet users said they actually understood where the neighbors were coming from — and even urged the woman to take the complaints about her ivy more seriously.

“Ivy is extremely invasive,” one person said. “If they take pride in the appearance of their garden, I can see why they are annoyed.”

Never miss a story — sign up for PEOPLE’s free daily newsletter to stay up-to-date on the best of what PEOPLE has to offer​​, from celebrity news to compelling human interest stories.

“[I wouldn’t be] happy either and would be judging you, too,” wrote another commentator. “Ivy is an absolute pain in the ass. My mother planted some years ago, and it took root, destroyed fences and even brought down a garage. Absolutely awful stuff. You need to keep on top of it constantly or get rid [of it].”

One more person said that while they agreed with the neighbors’ concerns about the highly destructive plant, they also understood why the woman and her family might be upset by the repeated complaints.

“Sounds like the neighbors are right about the ivy, but have been very rude in the way they have spoken to you, and as a result, you aren’t inclined to listen,” they wrote.