Man Questions If Asking Girlfriend to Split Bills After $600,000 Inheritance Is Fair

A man turns to the Reddit community for support following a difficult conversation with his longtime girlfriend. He wonders if he is wrong for asking her to split their household costs despite his recent inheritance.

The 34-year-old explains that he was “fortunate to inherit some money from my grandfather,” who wanted him to use the funds “to buy a house.”

The poster notes that he is very “grateful” to have been given the “life-changing amount of money,” about £450,000 (or $600,000).

He and his 29-year-old girlfriend found a rural cottage with a “half-converted” stone barn, and have been dreaming about building their future there.

The home requires some work to make the annex livable, but he sees real opportunity in it. “It just needs a small kitchen and bathroom put in before it would be ready to rent,” he says, sharing that the plan is to generate income from the space.

He carefully ran the numbers for their new life together and, according to his calculations, “bills, council tax, insurance, utilities, heating, food pets come to about 1200 gbp a month” — or around $1,600.

The man admits that his expectation is for both of them to contribute equally once they are settled. “I would want my gf to contribute half towards that when we are settled say within 2 or 3 years time,” he explains.

At the same time, he makes clear that any rental income would help reduce her financial burden. “If we made 600 in a month, she would pay 0 for her side,” he writes, noting that if the income covered everything, “we’d both pay 0 and anything extra split equally or decide what to do with it.”

He emphasizes that he is not asking his partner to shoulder responsibility for the property itself. “I don’t expect her to cover any maintenance costs or any costs towards the house upgrades furniture etc I’ll cover all that,” he assures.

For now, he has been covering all expenses while she looks for stability. “Until that time that she’s got a stable job, I’d keep covering all our expenses as I am doing now and have done for most of our relationship,” he shares.

Despite a solid salary, much of his income goes elsewhere. “I have to pay around 40 percent of my wage on personal therapy as part of my own training and also treatment,” he admits.

His girlfriend, meanwhile, comes from a very different financial background. “My girlfriend has no money at all and uninterested family and will likely receive no inheritance maybe 20k max,” he explains.

He insists his vision is about creating balance and joy, not endless work. “My reasoning is this house will allow us both the chance to have an amazing life, but I don’t want to work all hours and keep damaging my health,” he writes.

His dream is a slower pace, with shared responsibilities and freedom. “My vision is we would both work 2 or 3 days a week, maybe do fostering, and rent the annexe which would allow us to cover our costs and enjoy the house and our life together,” he says.

The couple has agreed on the house, though tensions remain about what comes next. “Tldr my girlfriend is worried because she thinks 600 gbp per month (half our expenses) is unfair,” he confesses.

They have already been together for five years and are actively working on their relationship. “We’ve been together 5 years and are in couples therapy,” he explains.

He acknowledges that some men would fully support their partner and admits he has considered it. “I am open that my view might be wrong, I understand many guys would just support 100 financially and I would do that if my health was better,” he reflects.

But his girlfriend points out an imbalance in the plan. “My partner says it’s unfair and that I should mention she would only be able to earn minimum wage,” he writes, noting that her take-home pay would be far lower than his.

“I also really don’t want her to work full time or shift work because it would spoil the lifestyle element for me,” he admits, though he wonders aloud, “so maybe that’s me being controlling?”

Still, he insists his intentions are about enjoying life together rather than endless labor. “I just think what’s the point of having such a nice house and land if we aren’t gonna enjoy it as a lifestyle,” he explains.

He emphasizes that he would be supportive if she wanted to pursue more. “I’d of course support all her expenses if she decided she wants to study or train to get a better paid job,” he adds.

As responses pour in, he thanks the community for their advice and perspectives. “Thank you for all the replies,” he writes.

He clarifies that the house will remain in his name, though he envisions her gaining some security from savings. “The idea is from her work and income from the annexe, even paying towards her half of expenses, she would be able to save each month to give her more financial security,” he explains.

He reassures her about her safety in the relationship, though he acknowledges the limits of his promise. “I have promised her she would always have a place to stay and food even if we broke up, if she needed/wanted that, but I know that is not the same as the house being in her name or a legal protection,” he admits.

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Some commenters weigh in, suggesting that the arrangement seems fair. “She’s living rent free and only being asked to cover expenses. It sounds fair,” one person notes, while adding that “1200 sounds high to me.”

The man replies with further details to justify the figure. “Well it’s an old rural cottage with oil heating and little insulation so we are budgeting on the higher end for heating,” he explains. “Food is our hobby because we don’t really go out much or drink or smoke, so higher budget so we can cook and enjoy.”

In the end, he insists the couple has discussed the numbers and made peace with the budget itself. “So that’s where we got the figure and we are in agreement with that figure given the type of property it is that we’ve chosen together,” he concludes.