Mother ‘Really Hurt’ Son Didn’t Tell Her He Got Engaged

A mother was speechless after finding out about her son’s engagement during a random visit to the grocery store.

The mom explained in a post on the U.K.-based forum Mumsnet that her 26-year-old son lives in London with his partner of two and a half years, while she lives in Aberdeen, Scotland. She sees him twice a year and speaks to him on the phone at least once a month, in addition to them having an “active” family group chat.

Following his recent visit to Portugal, the mom said he sent lots of photos taken with his partner to their group chat. However, it wasn’t until she bumped into the mother of his childhood friend at the grocery store that she found out about their major relationship milestone.

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“We chatted and she said ‘you must be over the moon at the news,’ ” she said of the other mother. “I had no idea what she was talking about, which was very embarrassing and then she told me that her DS [dear son] had mentioned my DS and his partner were engaged.”

The mom said she received no reply within an hour of texting her son about his engagement, but she’s aware he might be busy at a gig. She added that her husband and two other children were also unaware of his marriage proposal. 

“AIBU [am I being unreasonable] to be really hurt and confused by this?” the mom asked. “He never uses his social media and his partner doesn’t have any of our family on hers, so there was no way for us to have found out incidentally.”

She revealed in a follow-up comment that she hasn’t seen her son in person since his vacation and likely won’t see him until January because he’s spending Christmas with his partner’s family.

Responses to the post empathized with the woman while reassuring her that maybe he was waiting to tell her in person about their engagement.

“I think they’re saving the news for a Big Announcement, maybe when they have the rings, to tell you in person, etc.,” one person commented. “Probably ds [dear son] had discussed it with friend prior to the event, and friend had blagged to his mother.”

“That’s incredibly hurtful op [original poster]. You shouldn’t have had to find out through someone else like that. I would be upset,” another commented.

“That is indeed hurtful. I disagree with those who say he is waiting to meet you in person,” a third chimed in. “How difficult would it have been to do a video call and share the happy news? Is he not close to his siblings either? Because, sorry, you don’t sound that close if you talk only once a month.”

Another person said, “Sounds like you haven’t made the effort to see him, so he hasn’t made the effort to tell you.”