Woman Cussed Out for Setting Rules for Boyfriend’s Kids, Now Refuses to Care for Them

A woman isn’t sure she’s in the wrong for not wanting to cook or clean for her partner’s stepkids after they cursed her out.

The original poster (OP), 30, shared her story in Reddit’s AITA and explained that she and her 45-year-old partner have been together for just over a year but have known each other for a total of three years. They moved in together already, which OP said was “too early for both of us,” but was because her lease was up, and that was where they wanted the relationship to go.

Recently, OP and her partner went camping with his three kids, who are 12, 14 and 16. While on the trip, his youngest daughters met a group of 18-year-old boys who had been drinking and wanted to hang out with them at their campsite.

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OP’s partner said no and got pushback from his daughters, so OP stepped in and told them it wasn’t appropriate for underage girls to be with adult men who had been drinking. She offered to go with them to the boys’ campsite, but the girls declined her offer.

“Well, the girls turned on me, full yelling, name calling, being totally disrespectful,” OP said. “My partner said nothing, I went to bed pissed off. I was only looking out for them/having my man’s back and didn’t deserve that.”

OP said she and her partner discussed the incident over the next two days. Her partner told her to move on and forget about it, but OP explained that she felt “completely disrespected” by his daughters and said name-calling is never okay.

She then said she no longer felt comfortable “cooking, cleaning and providing for people” who called her such names and would be “done doing these things for until an apology was in order.”

Since the trip, the girls had been at their mom’s house. However, last night the girls came over and OP cooked a lamb roast for her partner’s son’s birthday. She said she reminded her partner that she wouldn’t be cooking for his daughters and asked him to deal with it, but he remained silent.

When dinner time rolled around, OP told the girls that since they’d told her she wasn’t their mother this past Saturday, it wasn’t her job to put food on the table. She said she doesn’t “do favors for people who talk with such disrespect,” which prompted the girls to start screaming, cursing and asking why OP was still here.

“My partner said I’ve now upset his kids and picked a fight at dinner, ruining it for everyone,” OP said. “He didn’t have my back at all. I ended up walking away, he ended up going to the opposite side of the house with his kids and I went to the other end with mine.”

OP said when she woke up the next morning, there had been a lot of tension in the house. Now, OP is asking if she’s in the wrong for how she reacted.

In her comments, many pointed out that OP and her partner had simply moved in too soon.

“You need to move out and find another place to live. You’ve moved in too soon. Your partner should have stopped all of the conflict a long time ago. This is a no-win situation,” one person said.

“I totally agree with this. He should not allow his kids to disrespect you in any way. He is wrong and should have had your back,” another agreed.

Conversely, another person said that OP could’ve handled the situation better and should’ve let the dad deal with his unruly kids.

“A better way to handle that would be to say ‘I do not tolerate disrespect or rudeness, and couldn’t possibly cook or clean for people who are as disrespectful or rude as you have been to me. So your dad will be cooking your meals, and cleaning up after you, and if you think that’s unfair to him, feel free to clean up after yourselves,'” they said.

“And tell them that when they arrive, don’t surprise them with it at dinner. Because you do NOT tell hungry kids that they can’t have any of the food that is sitting there right in front of their eyes.”

A third said that both parties were to blame for a bad situation.

“ESH, your partner for not having your back and the both of you for moving in together too soon,” the person noted. “Guess what, if it was too early for you both as grown adults, it is too early for your kids. No wonder they are acting up.”