Woman Unsure How Pregnant She Has to Look to Be Offered Seat on Public Transit

A first-time mom is in disbelief after repeatedly not being offered a seat in public places despite being heavily pregnant.

In a post on the U.K.-based forum Mumsnet, the expectant mom said she’s “really shocked and disappointed” by people failing to give up their seat to her on public transit and in waiting rooms, among other busy places. 

She questioned whether it’s a phenomenon that is happening everywhere or just in her area, while admitting that she laughed it off in the early days of her pregnancy.

“At first, from about 5 months pregnant, I joked about it to DP [dear partner] and family and friends: how pregnant do you have to be before people offer you a seat??” she said. “But I’m now 40 WEEKS pregnant and not laughing anymore.

“Basically, I’ve discovered the only chance of being offered a seat is if there’s a woman sitting who has been pregnant herself,” the woman continued. “If it’s all young people or men, you can forget it.”

The expectant mom said on a recent train journey that she was debating between getting off and waiting for another train that might have seats or attempting to “shame” people into getting up, as she can’t stand for the full journey to the hospital or midwives.

“I appreciate maybe there are some people who carry their pregnancy weight in such a way that it’s ambiguous, but I literally look like I’m shoplifting a melon here,” she concluded.

Responses to the post said they could relate to her experience and advised her to speak up or wear a badge that directs people to offer her a seat.

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“People can be extremely oblivious and I think that’s got worse — everyone’s staring at their phone,” one person wrote. “So you have to say something. Just a polite ‘sorry to disturb, may I have a seat please?’ should be fine.”

“Why is it embarrassing to ask? I’ve asked before because I felt generally unwell, not when I was actually pregnant,” another said.

“Just a general, ‘Would anyone mind giving me their seat, I’m not feeling well,’ ” they continued. “Nobody was shamed, I wasn’t embarrassed, three people offered immediately. It’s really not a drama to open your mouth.”

“I was heavily pregnant in the maternity triage waiting room of all places and there were no seats… 3 dads looked up at me and pretended not to notice me,” someone else commented. “My husband angrily told them to get up. Honestly, nothing shocks me anymore.”