Woman Asks Boyfriend to Stop Texting His ‘Work Wife’ Late at Night

A 27-year-old woman questions if her 28-year-old boyfriend is taking things too far with his “work wife.”

In a Reddit post, the woman shares that her boyfriend started working at a busy restaurant around six months ago. He got close with one of the servers, a 25-year-old woman, whom he calls his “work wife.”

At first, the poster “didn’t care” about their friendship, but recently, the coworker has been texting her husband late at night, even as late as 1 a.m.

“Stuff like ‘did you get home safe? you were so cute explaining wine tonight’ with a heart, or sending mirror selfies before her shift asking ‘yay or nay?’ and saying he’s ‘the only guy with taste,'” she explains.  

“He says it’s harmless and standard for the industry,” she continues. “He did show me some messages on his own, but when I said it made me uncomfortable, he turned off message previews. That felt like the opposite of reassurance.”

Despite their close bond, the coworker didn’t offer the poster the same kindness when they met.

“I met her at a staff party and she barely looked at me. She introduced him to a new hire as ‘my partner,’ then laughed and said ‘work partner,'” she continues. “When I tried to be friendly she walked off. I’ll admit I went quiet after because it felt weird.”

She told her boyfriend that she didn’t “want to control who he’s friends with,” but felt the need to set boundaries, such as “no pet names or hearts, no outfit selfies just to him, and no non-urgent texts after 10pm.”

“He says I’m overreacting and that they need ‘chemistry’ to keep service smooth,” she writes. “I’m not asking him to quit, I’m asking for respect.” 

She ended the post by asking people on Reddit if she was “overreacting” or if this is “normal” for “people who work in restaurants.”

“If not, how would you word the boundary convo so it doesn’t spiral? Do I keep this only between me and him, or ever say something to her? I don’t want to be petty, I just want to feel secure in my relationship,” she concludes.

The people in the comments section confirmed it was not normal behavior and that she had every right to ask him to set a few boundaries.

“There is no excuse for this behavior, it isn’t normal. I think it is always creepy as hell when people talk about a work wife. Although I can see how that might happen in the very long term. Certainly not six months into a job,” one person commented. “I have met men and women who have worked together in a small office for more than 20 years who might joke about that because of the long term situation. But a 20 something using that term after a few months? Nah.”

They continued, “He’s obviously covering too. Hiding messages, gaslighting you, telling you that you just don’t understand, it’s part of the job. Yeah, sure it is.”

Another person echoed this sentiment, adding, “You are not overreacting at all! There’s a huge difference between normal restaurant camaraderie and someone blatantly crossing lines. You’re not asking for anything extreme. You’re asking for basic respect. There’s def smth going on between them. Maybe not full-on cheating, but at the very least, blurred lines he’s comfortable letting stay blurry. You deserve to feel secure, not dismissed. Trust your gut.”