Pregnant Woman Plans Her Own Baby Shower, Upsetting Her Sisters

A mom-to-be turns to the Reddit community for advice following a heated disagreement with her sisters about her upcoming baby shower.

The expectant mother, who is pregnant with her first child, admits she may have overstepped but feels strongly about wanting a say in the details of the event.

“I texted in our group chat that I’d decided on a date,” she writes. “And they both got upset, saying ‘that’s what the sisters are supposed to do.’ ” For her, the frustration runs deeper than just the date—it ties back to feeling excluded in the past.

She explains that both of her sisters have had baby showers before, yet she was never asked to be part of the planning.

“For my oldest sister’s first baby, the shower was canceled because she delivered early. For her second baby I wasn’t asked to help, I was just told about it,” she recalls. “Same thing for my other sister. That’s three showers total where I wasn’t part of the process, just expected to show up.”

When she pointed this out to them, her sisters had reasons for leaving her out at the time. “They gave me their reasons about why I wasn’t involved at the time,” she says. “Too young to contribute, not being financially able to contribute, or being located in a different city.”

But for the mom-to-be, that explanation doesn’t make the sting go away. “Regardless of means to contribute or geographic distance, it was decided for me that I didn’t need to be a part of the planning,” she says. Now she feels that her sisters are trying to take control of her own celebration.

She tells them that she does want their involvement but hopes to have the final say. “I told them I do want their input and involvement,” she writes. “But I also want to be in charge of the planning since this is my first baby and something I’ve looked forward to.”

Her sisters, however, did not take it well. “My oldest sister responded that it was something she had been looking forward to since we shared the news,” she explains. “And my other sister just stopped responding altogether.”

The mom-to-be admits she understands their frustration. “Traditionally, sisters plan the shower,” she says. “By taking over, it might seem like I don’t trust them or I’m not letting them celebrate me.”

She also realizes her direct approach may have hurt their feelings. “I didn’t ask them first. I just told them my decision,” she admits. “Which could make them feel excluded, the very thing I’m upset about from the past.”

In the comments, other Redditors weigh in, reminding her that baby showers are usually hosted by family or friends so the expectant mom can simply relax.

One commenter shares their own experience, saying, “My shower is this weekend, I’m 33 weeks, and I can barely make it through the work day right now. Everything hurts, I’m huge, and I’ve got no extra energy to do anything.” They add with humor, “If being in a mood was an Olympic sport, I’m ready to join team USA.”

The mom-to-be takes that advice to heart, acknowledging how emotional she has been. “I really appreciate everyone’s input and thoughts,” she responds. “Not only are the pregnancy hormones easy to trigger emotional outbreaks, I’m already a very emotional person as it is to be quite honest.”

She clarifies that she wasn’t trying to take on the burden of hosting the entire event herself. “I wasn’t trying to be my own host,” she explains. “I was simply trying to just take charge in planning as far as theme, what day it is held, where it is held, etc.”

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Her love for her sisters remains clear, despite the tension. “I love my sisters and am extremely grateful for their enthusiasm with the baby shower,” she says. “And I wasn’t trying to be resentful at all. It just ticked me off that they had so much to say about my shower when I let them do as they please and put whoever they wanted in charge of theirs.”

She adds that this isn’t the first time she’s felt overlooked during milestone celebrations. “When they planned my bridal shower, I wasn’t really asked much about what I preferred or anything,” she remembers. “They did the thing themselves and [I] was told just to show up.”

Although she was grateful for the effort, she couldn’t help but notice important details slipping through the cracks.

“Because they didn’t confer with me on anything there were things that I would have liked to do that weren’t included,” she explains. “And there were people that couldn’t be there because invitations weren’t sent out in enough time for them to make travel arrangements.”

This time, she doesn’t want those same regrets. “I really didn’t want that to be the case this time,” she says. Instead, she hopes for a celebration that reflects her wishes while still letting her sisters participate.

In the end, the mom-to-be comes to a thoughtful conclusion about how she should have approached the situation. “I think the conclusion I’ve come to is that I should have had a different approach [to] discussing it with them,” she admits. “Rather than just telling them how it’s going to be or how I want it.”