Woman Asks If She’s Shouldn’t Go to Another Woman’s Baby Shower Pregnant

A pregnant woman is asking if she should tell her friend that she’s also pregnant before going to her baby shower.

The original poster (OP) shared her story on Reddit’s AITA and explained that she is 31 weeks pregnant with her first baby. OP, 39, explained that she hadn’t previously shared with her friends that she is expecting because she’s had multiple miscarriages in the past.

“I have had five miscarriages before and this would be my first baby,” wrote OP. “Because of all the losses I have not disclosed that I am pregnant — not to my work, my church, community and extended friends (just some really close friends and family members.”

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OP went on to say that she is overweight so her belly wasn’t noticeable for a while, but has become harder and harder to hide. She explained that she has a group of ex-colleagues that are still close, and one of them is two to three weeks behind her in her pregnancy.

“She is having her baby shower in 2 weeks, she invited me and I want to congratulate her,” said OP. “I do want to go as I miss them and it would be a fun time to hang out with the group again, but I don’t think I would be able to hide I am pregnant too.”

She explained that while she wants to go, she worries that she’ll be taking attention away from the other pregnant woman.

In her comments, one person told OP she should just ask if the host would be uncomfortable if she came.

“Why don’t you ask your host if she is okay with it if you are worried about her,” wrote the commenter. OP actually responded to this person, saying, “Yes, thank you, I will do that, it slipped from my mind a solution as simple as that, but thank you.”

However, another person wrote that OP should skip the baby shower because it would take the focus away from the other pregnant woman.

“In all honesty I’d make an excuse and not go. Once the other guests find out you are pregnant the focus will become about you and not her,” they wrote. “You can always say you are unwell before the event and don’t want to risk getting her or anyone else sick. Or if you trust her, take her aside and tell her the truth and that you won’t attend because you want to make sure the focus of the event is on her.”

A third said that as long as OP doesn’t make the day about her, they’d go to the baby shower.

“As long as you don’t make some big announcement or intentionally try to make the day about yourself — No, you wouldn’t be TA,” they responded.

“Anyone who isn’t deeply happy for you wbtah. Plenty of people are pregnant at the same time, so being pregnant at someone else’s shower isn’t stealing their show.”