Woman Raised by 2 Lesbian Moms and 2 Gay Dads Opens Up About Childhood (Exclusive)

Ella Ruth Francis’ family is anything but typical. Raised by two loving moms and two devoted dads, her family dynamic often surprises people. 

One of her mothers, whom she refers to as Mom “C,” met her father, “P,” while they were attending college at UC Berkeley. As openly gay dancers, they bonded over their shared passions and quickly forged a deep friendship that lasted beyond college.

Although C and P remained close friends, they each found love elsewhere — C with Mom “M,” and P with Dad “J.”

When Francis’ moms decided they wanted children, they were adamant that their kids also have a father figure. So, they approached their closest friends, Dad P, and his husband, J, about the idea of co-parenting. 

With everyone on board, Mom M went on to have a set of twin girls with Dad P. “She is a few years older, so she ended up getting pregnant first, and since Dad P was already going to be first, they kept that arrangement,” Francis tells PEOPLE exclusively.

Francis’ parents had originally planned for three children, but when the twins arrived, they decided it was important for all three siblings to share some biological connection. 

With that in mind, Mom C and Dad P welcomed Francis three years later. 

And despite being aware that they had different mothers growing up, the 28-year-old living in New York City says she has “only ever called them my sisters, never ‘half.’ Because that’s how we were raised.”

Mom C and M were her “primary” parents — the ones who were with the girls every day. Growing up, they lived in San Francisco, while their dads’ jobs kept them based in Los Angeles. 

“We didn’t go back and forth too much during the school year, but we would spend large chunks of the summers at our dad’s house in LA,” Francis explains. “Our dads would make the time to come visit us in San Francisco at least once a month, often even more during our early childhood years.”

Birthdays and holidays were always celebrated together, as a family. Francis’ dads would host Thanksgiving, while her mothers had rein over Christmas. Once a year, the seven of them would take a family vacation together. 

Although Francis and her sisters didn’t live close to their fathers, she makes it clear that their bond remained strong. 

“They all have different strengths, so I went to different parents for different things. Mom M is amazing at navigating tough emotional conversations while Dad J is brutally honest,” Francis shares. “Mom C is the best at solving problems and Dad P is the best at making friends.” 

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Each parent had a voice in decision-making, and while there were likely moments of disagreement or tension, Francis says she and her sisters were never caught in the middle. Her parents consistently prioritized the well-being of their three children above all else.

“I never once doubted that I was loved or wanted. My siblings and I were brought into the world with so much intention and care, and that translated to how our parents raised us, too,” she emphasizes. “There was always someone I could go to. It was definitely hard to feel neglected.” 

Living in San Francisco – where Queer history runs deep – Francis’ family almost always felt understood and welcome. 

“Even if people didn’t understand it right away, they caught on pretty quick and were supportive,” she reveals. “What has been really beautiful, as I’ve gotten older, is how many queer people have found inspiration from my family and realized that something they maybe didn’t think was possible is actually a reality.”

While some people online have been curious as to her family dynamic, Francis reassures them that they are just as “boring and normal” as any other.

“I think people think of gay families as having some kind of motive. My parents were always so clear that we could be or do anything,” she says. “They never forced us to subscribe to any ideology beyond treating others with love and respect.”

Francis is aware that diverse families have always been part of the world and believes they’re a big part of what makes society rich and dynamic.

“If we were all raised the same way and had the same experiences, the world would go silent because we would have nothing to talk about,” she says. “If a kid has gay or queer parents, it’s because those people made a conscious decision to parent and love that child. How could that ever be a bad thing?”

Family has never been defined by rigid structures to Francis, but by unconditional love and care. Growing up surrounded by that kind of support made it natural for her to build strong, meaningful connections based on actions and mutual respect.

“My parents set this amazing example of collaboration that affects my actions still to this day,” she says. “I think it has made me more empathetic and aware of those around me and how I can show up for them.” 

In terms of her own identity, Francis has always known who she was since the age of 6.

“I was allowed and encouraged to be loud and dramatic and joyful and because of that I grew up knowing what I wanted and also what I could give to others,” she tells PEOPLE. “I’m forever proud and grateful to have been raised by four, weird, wonderful, driven, queer people. I love them.”