Bridesmaid Wants to Bail on Wedding After Asked Not to Be in Photos

A soon-to-be bridesmaid says she is considering bailing on her friend’s wedding because the bride doesn’t want her to appear in the wedding photos.

The woman detailed her story on the popular Reddit forum “Am I the A——?”, a place where Reddit users can go to seek advice about interpersonal dilemmas. In the post, the woman explained that she is “due to be a bridesmaid” in her friend’s wedding “next weekend.”

“[I] was very much looking forward to it. We have been friends for over 20 years and never had any problems before,” she added.

However, the original poster (OP) said that the bride texted “last night” and requested that she stay “out of the photos,” claiming that her “tattoos may ruin them.”

“For context, I have a full sleeve that would be visible in the dress, but all of the bridesmaids and the bride will also all have visible tattoos (mine are larger though),” she continued.

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The OP additionally said that a fellow bridesmaid had previously told her that the bride “was trying to find a way to keep me out of the photos as she was worried I would overshadow her,” adding, “I didn’t think much of it as I didn’t think it would be true.”

The Redditor said she ultimately agreed to stay out of the photos because “it’s her day, she’s paid for it and I don’t want to create any drama.” However, she also admitted that “it’s made me feel quite upset.”

“WIBTAH [would I be the a——] if I made an excuse to not go?” she asked at the end of her post.

Reddit users were quick to tell the OP that her feelings in this situation were completely valid.

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“NTA [not the a——],” one person said. “What’s the point of you being in the wedding when not in the wedding photos? If you’re a bridesmaid, it should mean the bride loves you for you.”

“NTA,” agreed someone else. “Wedding pictures are to help you remember all of the moments and people that made your day special. If she doesn’t want to remember you at her wedding, then why bother going?”

“NTA for considering it, but maybe think about being the bigger person here,” one person suggested, adding, “Ultimately, this all depends on the friendship you have and where you want this friendship to go.”