Man Won’t Adhere to ‘Bro Code’, Making Friend ‘Upset’
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NEED TO KNOW
- A man says he tells his wife everything — including things his friends share with him in confidence
- He says that his male friend of 25 years is now “upset” with him over this — despite the fact that he says the friend has “always” known this fact about his marriage
- The man shared his story on Reddit, where he asked his fellow Reddit users to weigh in on who’s in the wrong
A man says that a male friend is “upset” with him because he doesn’t adhere to the “bro code” and shares everything with his wife — and he’s taking to the Internet to ask who’s in the wrong.
The man detailed his story on the popular Reddit forum “Am I the A——,” a place where Reddit users can go to seek advice about interpersonal dilemmas. In the post, the man explained that he is “happily married” and that “there’s nothing I don’t tell my wife.”
“IMO [in my opinion], if you can’t say something in front of your wife then you either shouldn’t be saying it, you should work on your communication, or you’re not as compatible as you thought,” he said.
The original poster (OP) also said that he does not believe in the “bro code,” an informal term that implies a man should never “betray” a male friend. He also stated that his friend — who he has known for “25 years” — knows this about him.
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However, the OP said that the friend recently came to him and said he wanted to talk to the OP about something “in confidence.”
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“I told him […] that anything he tells me he’s telling my wife, too,” the OP said.
The Redditor said that his friend got “upset” and “contacted all of our friends and asked them if they’d go running to their wives when someone confided in them.” He added that now all of their mutual friends are taking his buddy’s side.
“AITA [am I the a——] for not wanting to keep secrets from my wife and being open about that?” the OP asked at the end of his post.
The vast majority of commenters said that they thought the OP was in the wrong in this specific scenario — and that he might want to reevaluate his approach to his friendships.
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“YTA [you’re the a——],” one person said, adding, “Insisting ‘there’s nothing I don’t tell my wife’ [is] fine when it concerns YOUR BUSINESS. Not fine when it concerns [a] friend’s business. Keeping your friend’s personal things between the two of you is literally just basic human decency. Your idea of my wife is entitled to anything and everything you have to say is unbelievable.”
“[…] I believe what friends share should be kept a secret. Why does your wife have to know something about your friend that he wants kept secret? Unless it directly affects your wife, why does she have to know everything about everyone?” said someone else.
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Another person added, “YTA. You don’t need to blab everything to your wife. Obviously, if it’s something that concerns her or if she asks about it then tell her. But if it’s none of her business, why can’t you keep your friend’s confidence? That’s just basic discretion. If you can’t even be discreet for the sake of your friend, then you’re not really their friend.”
Credit to Nypost AND Peoples
