Bride Wants to Elope to Avoid ‘Unpleasant’ Family at Wedding

A bride-to-be is feeling pressure to invite “unpleasant” family members to her wedding because her father is contributing to the cost of the event.

On Sunday, Aug. 31, the woman explained in a post on the UK-based forum Mumsnet that she’s an only child and has been close to her dad following the death of her mom three years ago. She said her dad has offered to cover the cost of her wedding venue, while she and her fiancé will pay for everything else.

The bride-to-be revealed her guest list of 60 people includes her mom’s siblings, despite her dad not getting along with them. She claimed not to have a relationship with anyone on her dad’s side of the family except his sister, because they were horrible towards her mom.

“Dad now says that if my mom’s side is invited, he wants his side there too, to avoid family fallout,” the woman said. “He’s offered to pay for extra guests so we don’t have to cut friends from the list. I’m torn.”

The woman asked if she should compromise and allow her father’s relatives to come, or refuse at the risk of conflict with him and a strain on her finances.

She confessed to having even thought about eloping to avoid the situation, “though we genuinely want to celebrate with loved ones and friends.”

“The wedding is next year and we’re at the point of putting deposits down on things as well,” the bride-to-be said, adding that she and her fiancé save around $1,000 a month between them towards their nuptials.

Desperate for advice, she asked people to chime in with their opinions on whether she was being reasonable or unreasonable.

The majority of responses to the post encouraged the woman to reject her dad’s financial offer in favor of funding her own dream wedding or eloping.

“Don’t invite anyone who wasn’t kind to your mom,” one person wrote. You may feel upset that your mom isn’t there on your wedding day, so the presence of people who treated her badly will make you feel worse. Your dad shouldn’t be using the promise of financial help to invite people that he knows you don’t want to invite for a very good reason. Your loyalty (and his) should be with your late mom.”

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“I would have the wedding you want. If you give someone a gift, then it should not come with strings,” another commented. “We paid for both our children’s weddings. We did not put any conditions on this. We only gave advice when asked for it.”

“Elope and spend the money on a mega honeymoon!!!” a third chimed in. “Or just have a civil ceremony and party at a pub with friends and family and spend the rest of the money on a mega honeymoon.”

However, others argued her dad was in the right to want both sides of the family to attend the nuptials.

“I think it’ll be weird to invite some aunts/uncles but not others,” one person said. “I can imagine it being really hard for your dad if you don’t invite his siblings. I’d suck it up for your dad’s sake.”

“I don’t think it’s that unreasonable that he wants to invite his siblings when your mom’s siblings are invited, especially when he is contributing to your wedding,” another commented. “He will be the one dealing with the fallout of it. I wouldn’t want to put that stress on a parent. Fair enough if you were paying for it all, but you’re not.”