Woman Plans to Give Best Friend’s Kids Unequal Multi-Million-Dollar Trust Funds

A woman turns to Reddit for advice following a difficult decision involving her best friend’s children and a large gift of money.

The 37-year-old says she has recently come into a life-changing amount of money and plans to share it with her best friend, who is also 37, and her two kids, a 12-year-old girl and a 2-year-old boy.

She explains that she intends to put the money into irrevocable trusts for the children, but the amounts will be different. She plans to give the 12-year-old $2.5 million and the 2-year-old $1.5 million.

“The reason I want to do this is because I helped raise 12f when she was little and I still have her with me every school vacation,” she writes, noting that the tween “genuinely feels like she is my child, she calls me mom, and there is no difference between her and my own children, it’s the exact same amount of love.”

Her bond with the girl runs deep, and she notes that the backstory is complex. She claims the 12-year-old was “abused” when she was younger, which has resulted in “several mental issues.” The woman says the child’s therapist believes “it may be difficult for her to live a normal life and she will likely need lifelong therapy.”

By contrast, she says the toddler boy’s circumstances are different. Whereas the tween’s dad died from an overdose when she was young, the toddler still “has his dad in his life.”

“His dad is a lifer in the military, and 2m is very blessed with new clothing, toys, etc,” she explains. She notes that while the young boy is “set up better in life,” the 12-year-old has faced far greater challenges.

Part of her decision comes from her own upbringing. “I grew up as the black sheep of the family and did not get the same opportunities my siblings did and has had a lifelong ramification,” she says.

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Seeing the girl’s life unfold, she admits, “I can’t help but see her childhood shaping up to be like mine and I don’t want that.”

Her solution is to use her newfound wealth to help change the girl’s future. “While I can’t change her situation, I can give her money to use to help her future,” she writes. “Money is a tool after all.”

Still, the woman is worried about how her best friend will react to the unequal gifts. “In her eyes they are both her children, and they are treated equal,” she explains.

She fears that her friend “will see the discrepancy in the amount and think I don’t love 2m as much or I see him as lesser than his sister, and I don’t.”

She insists her intentions come from a place of love and responsibility toward the girl she helped raise. “I am more invested in 12f and my motherly instinct is to provide and protect her,” she writes, reminding readers that “in addition to this, this is a gift. This is on my own free will and why can’t I do this?”

In the comments, one Reddit user suggests pairing the trusts with education. “With the trust fund comes financial literacy lessons,” they offered.

They warn that even a large sum “isn’t that much money to live on if the mentality is ‘I have a trust fund, I don’t have to work and I can buy whatever I want,’” but it can last a lifetime “if someone is using it wisely, reinvesting, monitoring its returns and planning for the future.”

Another commenter supports the woman’s decision and even says the amounts might end up being more balanced than they appear. “$2.5 and $1.5m is actually a perfect split,” they write. “With growth they should have about the same purchasing power when they reach 18.”

For now, the woman waits to tell her best friend and wonders if her reasoning will be understood. As she puts it, it’s her money so she can do as she pleases.

If you suspect child abuse, call the Childhelp National Child Abuse Hotline at 1-800-4-A-Child or 1-800-422-4453, or go to www.childhelp.org. All calls are toll-free and confidential. The hotline is available 24/7 in more than 170 languages.