Stephen Colbert is just the latest in a long line of CBS hosts to bite the dust

Network stars ‘left’ to wither

CBS. Columbia Broadcasting System. Being nicknamed: Cannot Be Sustained.

It’s financial problems. It got stuck with a Donald Trump lawsuit over Kamala. Settled for $16 mil. It’s ratings struggles. Staff trimming. Cost cutting. Had a squabble with YouTube TV. Obama’s probably already discussed it with Russia.

There’s now a body count with whom they’ve played musical chairs. Knocked off — if not out — Norah O’Donnell unseated. How about Charlie Rose, Paula Zahn, Letterman, James Corden, Katie Couric, Bianna Golodryga who went to CNN, Connie Chung? Some morning hosts have been vaporized.

Listen, the drums are even beating for Gayle King whom we all love more than the Statue of Liberty.

We’re talking the once home of “the most trusted man in America” Walter Cronkite. It was Dan Rather, a Peabody Award, “60 Minutes,” “Blue Bloods,” Andy Griffith, “Green Acres,” “Hogan’s Heroes.”

Latest lurch was vaporizing lefty Stephen Colbert. Even Jay Leno — whose own talk show on NBC had ground on since Thomas Jefferson played potsy with that mistress — weighed in saying semi nice things about Colbert. He was able. Did a good job. But just not exactly my cup because even my car doesn’t turn left.

One misery is that nobody but repairmen watch network stuff anymore. All’s the same. Everyone blond. Each female’s hair hangs down either one side or both to the crotch. They read pre-printed words. Some mispronouncing the country as Eye-rack. Many of us have actually been there. Worked there. And in between bombing and hunger and terrifying reports they’re boring. It’s cooking lessons. Or political correctness gone nuts.

Left-handed pitcher Colbert always peed on Donald. Seemed to overlook that Donald is now PRESIDENT. What lump did he want to see sitting in charge? The ex-bartender with the hair’s center part and three AOC initials? Bernie Sanders whose spit reaches to the Middle East?

Ventriloquist Jill who wants to be called “doctor” but whose lone patient quivers in the basement?

Think. Letterman? Cranky. But not hatred. He would book O’Reilly and maneuver his zingers but demean nobody. Leno’s show on NBC? Stand-up comic. Not into political peeing. His successor Fallon once rumpled Donald’s hair. Kimmel? No. Watch. ABC’s next to corral the extremists.

Fast lane living

So let me tell you about my lovely summer New York day. A friend drove me to her place upstate. Coming home? A hired car. Stopped dead — dead — a doornail was less dead — in the middle of the bumper-to-bumper crowded highway. Gone. Went to heaven — or in my case hell — middle of the multilane highway. Brakes screeching. Horns honking. Drivers cursing.

“I fix,” said the driver in Urdu or whateverthehell language. I’m perspiring in a no-air-conditioning back seat. Forget chatting with my driver who has now jacked up our vehicle with my behind higher than Mt. Rushmore. Can’t crawl out because I’ll be hit by some car racing to get home. Eventually he’s back, perspired, and says, “No fix.”

Nice. Cops by now surround my car and want to know what I’m doing there. l also want to know what I’m doing there. Fortunately they recognized me, put me in a cop car and took me someplace where I could climb into another vehicle — that actually moved — to take me home.

East Side, West Side, all around the town — unless you’re coming from upstate.

Listen, I’m not one to complain about my original driver. I only say that if we’d been in the Middle East, we’d have come home on a dented camel.

Only in New York, kids, only in New York.