Trump to balance budget by starting swear jar for Dems

Every week, The Post will bring you our picks of the best one-liners and stories from satirical site the Babylon Bee to take the edge off Hump Day. Want more of a chuckle? Be sure to click the links.

The Congressional Budget Office estimated that at ten bucks per cuss, the swear jar will easily wipe out this year’s projected $1.9 trillion deficit. READ MORE

In London, bats reportedly crept in unnoticed through the tube system before exploding onto the surface at dusk where they proceeded to take over parliament and all major bridges. READ MORE

According to sources, the U.S. will now collect a fee every time someone uses a word with an unnecessary “U” in it. READ MORE

Experts believe that even though you were anticipating a Monday free from the work week, AI hasn’t gotten around to replacing you yet, so you have to log in and get cracking. READ MORE